Sunday, April 29, 2018

Geostorm: Be Sure to Miss It!

Movie Review: Geostorm (2017)
Version: Library borrow

In 1996 there was a film called Night of the Twisters that was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I would rate Geostorm right up there with it. Both involve impossible story lines with poor acting performances. At least with Geostorm there was a fairly good cast. Unfortunately, the script was trash.

Here is how the story is describe on the IMDB website:
When catastrophic climate change endangers Earth's very survival, world governments unite and create the Dutch Boy Program: a world wide net of satellites, surrounding the planet, that are armed with geoengineering technologies designed to stave off the natural disasters. After successfully protecting the planet for three years, something is starting to go wrong. Two estranged brothers are tasked with solving the program's malfunction before a world wide Geostorm can engulf the planet.

First of all, no governmental body, worldwide or otherwise, would name a science project "Dutch Boy Program" -- it doesn't make any sense! Second, the program has been hacked to attack the weather and create havoc around the world, but half the attacks don't actually attack the weather and don't even make sense. Third, this supposed "geostorm" is really about upsetting the climate, not the weather, and that would take much longer than the time shown in the movie. When they finally subdue the satellite system, it calms down immediately, also not realistic. Finally, the bad guys hack the space station and its network of interchangeable satellites, which they make go berserk. But when they go berserk inside the space station, there's no threat of loss of air pressure as pieces of steel go flying through windows.

The cast is all right, but they're most miscast in this film. Gerard Butler doesn't come off as a tech or scientist. Andy Garcia is supposed to be the president but he just doesn't fit the part. Ed Harris plays the character in charge of the Dutch Boy Program but he has more gravitas to play president, yet he plays the bad guy. Andy Garcia has played gangsters! Why wasn't he cast as the bad guy?

I wasn't impressed by the writing, either. The dialogue was sloppy. The plotting was unrealistic as were the conflict resolutions. The whole film was simply ugly. If someone asked me what I thought of Geostorm, I'd say, "Be sure to miss it!" Sorry, Geostorm fans.

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