Monday, November 06, 2017

The Mummy: A Mess of Mixed Metaphors

Movie Review: The Mummy (2017)
Version: Library borrow

I would call 2017's The Mummy a mess of mixed metaphors: basically, Egyptian archaeology gone awry meets zombie apocalypse meets hokey Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde. How can you mix all three in a movie and think it's going to turn out well?

This more recent remake of a remake of the original pits Indiana Jones wannabe Nick Morton (played by Tom Cruise) and his sidekick Chris Vail (played by Jake Johnson) against an evil ancient Egyptian queen, Ahmanet (played by Sofia Boutella), who was long ago buried under the sands of Mesopotamia and erased from history, only to be unleashed in modern day Iraq by Morton and Vail. Ahmanet decides Morton is her ideal male to be turned into an eternal god and unleashes all the undead to help her capture him. Meanwhile, archaeologist Jenny Halsey (played by Annabelle Wallis) comes on the scene and brings the sarcophagus and, thus, chaos to England, where she teams up with the dual personality Dr Jekyl/Mr. Hyde (played by Russell Crowe) to try to squelch Ahmanet and save Vail.

The Mummy, true to form with most Tom Cruise films, is full of action and special effects, so it has that going for it. In fact, there's quite a thrilling plane ride at the beginning of the film. But it's the silly constant onslaught of zombies that detracts from the narrative. And then there's the Dr. Jekyl character, who twice has to save himself from turning into the zany Mr. Hyde with a complicated chemical injection, which is a total and unnecessary distraction. Crowe is actually quite good in the role, it's just not important to the story line. Why not add Dr. Frankenstein and his monster while you're at it?

And then there's Tom Cruise portraying himself as the perfect figure for Ahmanet to kill to turn into the eternal god as her forever mate. He looks nothing like the original guy she was going to sacrifice for the role in the beginning of the movie. He's not even Egyptian! So that was totally bogus.

All these things combined soured the movie for me. Just too much silliness and thoughtlessness went into making this film. If I were grading this film I'd give it a C. If I were rating it, I would give it a 3 out of 5. If I were asked by a friend if it was worth seeing, I'd say, "Miss it."

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