Murder on the Orient Express: Not a Must-See or a Want-to-See, Perhaps Just an Okay-See

Movie Review: Murder on the Orient Express (2017)
Version: Library borrow

Murder on the Orient Express is a remake of a remake of a remake of a remake of an Agatha Christie murder mystery classic. Yes, there have been five films of this story, beginning in 1974. Enough, already! Honestly, I don't think anyone can play a better Hercule Poirot than David Suchet, but in this version Kenneth Branagh gives it his best shot. It isn't enough. I haven't seen the other versions besides the 1974 film, so I cannot comment on them, but I preferred the 1974 cast other than Albert Finney as Poirot. Alfred Molina played the leading role in 2001 and he's a fine actor, so he could very well have pulled it off to satisfaction.

Here is the gist of the plot. The world's best detective takes the world's most lavish train, the Orient Express, from Istanbul to Paris, counting on a relaxing trip. On the way, there is a murder. Of course, only Poirot can solve it. Since the train has been moving the whole time, everyone onboard is a suspect -- everyone except Poirot. In this version, Poirot is taking the trip because he is exhausted from a strenuous examination of another murder and wishes to take the long journey as a form of holiday, so he isn't receptive to investigating the murder. In fact, earlier the victim has asked him to be his body guard, but Poirot refuses. Partway into the trip as the train makes its way into the mountainous terrain of Yugoslavia, an avalanche blocks the tracks, nearly knocking the locomotive off and setting up a long wait for help to arrive. Poirot is a friend of the owner of the Orient Express, who begs him to investigate before the Yugoslavian authorities arrive. He reluctantly agrees, and so the battle of wits between Poirot and the suspects begins.

As with past films, Murder on the Orient Express relies on a long list of recognizable actors to attract an audience. Kenneth Branagh directs as well as acts in this. Judi Dench is always a welcome presence. There is also Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Willem Dafoe, Penélope Cruz, and Derek Jacobi, along with a group of lesser knows. It is an ensemble cast, which makes the story work. If it weren't for the familiar faces, would we care as much about the characters? I wonder.

Branagh's Belgian accent leaves much to be desired. Poirot is fastidious in all his ways, and Branagh fails to carry out the character in this way, also He could easily be playing some other famous detective, although I couldn't place a name on him. I would ask, might Johnny Depp not have done better service to this role? Something to have considered, Mr Branagh the director. I can see it, considering the eccentricity of some of the roles Depp has played (consider the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland).

So, to conclude, I can't say 2017's Murder on the Orient Express is a must-see, or even a want-to-see. If you're bored some evening or weekend, it's an okay-see. If nothing else, see if for the stars and the scenery.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales: Not the Best of the Series, By a Mile

Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)
Version: Library borrow

The most recent chapter in the Pirates of the Caribbean saga is Dead Men Tell No Tales. It doesn't measure up to its predecessors, not from the lack of will but from the lack of a good effort.

Here we find Jack Sparrow (played again by Johnny Depp) in threat for his life by a terrifying nemesis, one Captain Salazar (played by Javiere Bardem), whom Sparrow defeated long ago at the cost of his ship and crew on cruel rocks, trapped in the Devil's Triangle. Salazar's only hope of escape and revenge on Sparrow is seizing the legendary Trident of Poseidon. At Sparrow's aid is Henry Turner (played by Brenton Thwaites), son of Will Turner, who also seeks the Trident to free his father from the depths of the sea. In the mix is Captain Barbossa (played again by Geoffrey Rush), who is looking to profit from the Trident himself, and finds an interesting connection with Turner's love interest in the story, Carina Smyth (played by Kaya Scodelario).

Although this is a long, convoluted plot line, we find the usual silliness of the past Pirates of the Caribbean films, with the reappearance of many of our favorite crew from the Black Pearl. However, Jack Sparrow has lost some of his sass and swagger, and Captain Barbossa loses a bit of his nastiness by the end of the movie, although for a very good reason. Salazar's ship is a monstrosity and he is a monster driven by a hateful obsession over revenge, in an overly melodramatic way. All in all, this film is less fun and more sea drama, but without any real purpose.

The thrill of the film is built more around its reliance on CGI than the imagination of the screenwriters and cinematographers, so once again we are the victims of technology. I suspect even the make up and costume design are given heft by technology rather than actual human work. And that's a pity. I always feel cheated when most of the magic of the film is because someone created an alternate reality with a computer and software instead of humans creating a world with their bare hands and keen eyes.

Dead Men Tell No Tales is an okay film, but it's not the best of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Not by a mile.